Bubbie Update................... ....More Nursing Home Drama

02-05-2013 at 07:00 PM 

For those that really know me they know I am a skeptic by nature and by trade. I don't believe everything I hear or read and often require evidence in order to consider the truth that I ultimately believe. It’s my general rule that even if a person doesn’t believe something someone tells them it is complimentary to keep our thoughts to our self but our action or lack of response can sometimes be misconstrue that as being naïve. If you follow what I am saying then please keep reading. You must feel the same way I do and feel the freedom to be yourself and not worry so much what others’ think and have every reason not to worry what they think because who you are is not fake but true and people love you because of that. Right? Right!

With that said I have always been intrigued with the supernatural and I am a believer of life after death. I am not sure yet what that life is but I believe there is something. I believe that “ghosts” as we commonly call them do exist as well as God. Something somewhere created the universe and if it was the big bang that created our universe then something created the power for the big bang to have occurred. So, I have been reading a lot of books for the last few months about life after death and the journey of souls and what happens to them after we “die”. My choices of books have been written by those that in my opinion are qualified to give such information to me. I don’t know how I choose them but I research the people that have written the books before I read them and my “intuition” tells me which ones to read. So far my choice of authors has coincidentally been doctors. After having read the books I have read so far I wonder if there is such a thing as coincidence. This leads me to ask the question, was I meant to read these books?

As I sat with my grandmother in the nursing home and read my latest book “To Heaven And Back” I witness her doing something that people in their right mind do not do and then witnessed something even more bizarre the next day. If you read my blogs then you know what I am talking about. Those that are first time readers should read my blog of 1/24/13 to catch up.

Since this occurrence her behavior has been up and down like a roller coaster. She has had conversations with people we cannot see. Her eyes are closed most of the time while she simulates stirring a spoon in a pot and serving her guests at her dining room table. She has announced the arrival of her mother and at the same time has a smile on her face and shows a sense of calmness. During this occurrence she was not consciously aware of our presence and only those that she could see with her eyes closed. She would not respond to us or the nursing staff who had to move her body from place to place during this 5 hour occurrence. It’s as if she wasn’t in her body at all. That is when my mother and I looked at each other and thought it was the end. She is getting closer to death and stepping into whatever life waits for her. The downside of the roller coaster was the next day when she was agitated and needed an anxiety pill to help calm her. The day after that she was back to having conversations with those we could not see but not as much as she did two days before.

Several days have passed since and now the roller coaster has taken us on a loop, upside down it seems. She is getting weaker by the day, her eyes remain closed the majority of the time, and she has started to say goodbye to us, in our minds, by telling us how much she loves and appreciates us. Also, until now she has forgotten who is in the room with her at any given time but now she seems to know when we are in the room even with her eyes closed. It’s as if someone is there whispering in her ear, “your daughter is here, she can help you get a drink of water” or “your granddaughter is sitting right next to you” which results with her telling me how much she loves me. She calls us by name and tells us what she wants.

I know you may think it sounds like wishful thinking on our part or you may even think of that word that I am not sure is real “coincidence”. My license plate doesn’t read WHAT IF for nothing! What if it IS real? What if everything we are seeing with our own eyes is divine intervention? How do I know it's not?

You wouldn’t believe me if I told you the content of the books I am reading and the amount of evidence or circumstantial evidence that has been documented for the research these Dr’s report about. I have one question for you. How could there be thousands of people scattered across the earth none of which know each other researched by several doctors including PhD’s and MD’s who report similarif not the same events that occurred to their subject's during their alleged near death experience or life after death occurrence one of which is a neurosurgeon who experienced his own NDE and not believe any of it to be true? I am trying to decide this for myself.

Before I step into my grandmothers’ room I wonder what I will see. I can’t deny how exciting it is to see her act as if she is conversing with her loved ones who have already passed and watch her prepare a meal for her family as she so often did in her prime. I entertained the thought that she has hallucinations and her brain is malfunctioning but I can’t help wonder if there is something else going on that I can’t see. Just because I want it to be true doesn’t mean I believe it is. If I choose to believe it is it will be because it is. (Got it?)

Yesterday Bubbie was agitated and wanted to go home, wanted her mother, and wanted to be left alone. Today, she slept most of the day getting up only for meals. Still, the majority of the time her eyes are closed and only after a short amount of soft food she does her best to get comfortable in her wheelchair so she could sleep. Hospice has now advised us she is in the process of dying but is not dying at the current time. The family is wondering how much more suffering must she endure. I will keep you posted.

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