More Nursing Drama...................D rama is putting it mildly

11-17-2012 at 04:05 PM

It’s not as bad as is looks. My grandmothers’ left hand was purple from her wrist to her fingertips and blown up five times its normal size. What are we supposed to think? What would you think? They took an x-ray of her hand and the search for a fracture was negative. They iced it and gave her some mild pain medication. It was evening time when they called and she was agitated wanting to go home. “Get me out of here!” were her exact words. Her two daughters were by her side as she begged for a ride home. Should we stay or should we go? What do we do? Are we making it worse for her being there or should we stay to help calm her down by seeing familiar faces reminding her of home? These are the questions that went through their minds but my Aunt and mother had to eventually leave.

The next day I was up to see her. She was sleeping in her chair. She is not supposed to be sleeping in her chair because she had fallen out of her chair many times before. We wanted to put her in her bed but when we pulled the covers back we saw and smelled the saturated sheets covered in urine. We requested this matter be taken care of and that she be changed out of her clothes and into clean clothes. It was a male aid who attended to both the bed AND my grandmother. I’m sorry but a male aid changes the female residents? It made me sick knowing what I know about the rapes that take place in nursing homes with the residents, but not necessarily this nursing home.

The swelling of her hand and wrist had gone down a little but the bruise on her hand had spread up her arm. It appeared she was wearing a purple glove covering her entire hand and wrist. She would hide her arm in her pocket or behind her back, as it was painful to the touch. We demanded they x-ray her wrist and put more ice on it. When I asked for ice they said they had to put an order in with the Dr. What!? I asked what would be quicker, going out and getting it myself or waiting for them to get the authorization. They said they would take care of it right away. I am not going to wait for them to call the Dr. and wait for a call to be returned for something my grandmother needs right away.

There was speculation about what caused her hand to swell up and turn purple so we requested a Dr. see her to evaluate her condition. A seasoned Dr. came to see her and suggested that because of her frailty and the blood thinners she takes she may have had a hematoma that ruptured and spread like wild fires. But, that did not explain the swelling and severe pain. The wrist x-ray was also negative for fractures. Whatever the case may be the goal was to make her feel as comfortable as possible and that is what we did.

The next two days I visited her to see how she was progressing and today was the worse day of all. It started before I even arrived. She was angry and said she wanted to go home. She wanted to go home to where her mother was. Her mother has been dead for over 50 years and when I reminded her of that she was upset as if I was telling her to hurt her. I knew she would forget so I decided to take a different approach the next time it happened. I simply told her that her mother was there and I would go find her but only after she agreed to be cleaned up and put in bed which she adamantly refused to do. She kept saying she wasn’t’ feeling good and often would doze off as she sat in her wheelchair. I told her I would take her out of there after she allowed to be cleaned up. She agreed and was willing to cooperate to get her wish. I wheeled her outside to the parking lot where she asked where my car was. I kept walking in the hopes that she would fall asleep. But, during her nap she would occasionally put her head up and say she wanted to go home. She felt lost and wondered why nobody would help her. I told her I would look for her parents after she got in bed to take a nap but again she refused. I asked for something to help with anxiety and hoped it would kick in quick. While the pill was working it’s way through her system I took her for a long walk around the nursing home. She fell asleep like a baby does when being walked in a pram but would wake up when the wheelchair came to a stop. After about 20 minutes I took her back to her room where she finally agreed to be put in bed if I went to look for her parents. I agreed but when I was getting ready to leave the room she didn’t want me to. She wanted me to stay. She complained about not being able to breath anymore. I was scared. I told the nurses station and they said they would check her vitals and keep an eye on her.

After a few hours of not knowing how to help my grandmother I had to leave. I kept my promise and spoke to her parents, the people I am named after, in prayer and asked them to be there for her. If they could make themselves known to her to please do so and to be there for her when it is her time to go. I wanted to put her out of her misery even if that meant losing her. The important issue at hand is living a quality life and not having to live a life in pain and confusion. We can only imagine what she is going through.

One thing we know for sure is that her dignity will be maintained now that we forbid them to allow a male aid to change her or help her in the bathroom. They know we are on top of every situation that is going on with her and will keep our eyes on everything. I have been up there everyday so far this week and will continue to check in on her to make sure she is getting what she needs. As busy as I am with two young kids, a full time job, and not enough hours in the day I have chosen to make my grandmother one of my priorities to see that she gets what she needs and is treated with respect. It goes without saying that she depends on us to be there for her in this capacity even though she is unable to communicate it to us. I don’t want to live with regret and need to know that I did everything I could for her while she is still alive. Moving forward we have Thanksgiving to look forward to. With my grandmother we will have a feast with laughs and joy. She will be surrounded by almost her entire family. The kids will make her feel young and the familiar faces will make her feel at home. I am thankful for the meaningful relationship I have had with my grandmother. I am thankful for a lot of things.