My Visit to the Home Today Edit Blog Entry

03-13-2012 at 01:42 PM

It was morning time and the residents had just finished their breakfast. I know they had scrambled eggs because of the crumbs left on the near empty table that my grandmother sat at. There were residents in the living room watching television or catching an after breakfast nap. There was one resident doing physical therapy exercises in the hallway with a nurse. I approached my grandmother with a cherry "hello" and she greeted me by my name in her most cheerful voice. It was nice to hear her say my name without any coaching especially after I witnessed another resident with her visitor who appeared to look like a granddaughter.

I helped my grandmother in her walker and went into the living room where the television was. I figured when I left I would be leaving her with other people to socialize with and some noise to keep her mind occupied. I also figured her exercise class would begin soon and this way she wouldn't have far to walk like as if she were coming from her bedroom. While we made ourselves as comfortable as one can get on vinyl covered chairs I noticed a young woman sitting on a chair face to face with an old lady who sat in her wheelchair with oxygen tubes coming from her nose down to the tank that was attached to her chair. The young woman appeared to be a granddaughter and she was talking loud so the old lady could hear her. At first I didn't pay attention to what she was saying but then again you couldn't help but hear the young woman who almost spoke loud enough for all ears to hear even those that are hard of hearing. So, I listened as my grandmothers' head fell forward down towards her chest, eyes closed, into a state of relaxation and most likely sleep. The young woman was telling her assumed grandmother that she was going to "be off now". She repeated it LOUDLY a few times until she received a response from the old lady who seemed to moan just to shut her up.
Once the young woman got her response she proceeded to say as loudly as ever, "I will be back, ok?"
The old lady said, "no!"
The young woman yelled, "yes, I will be back later today, ok?" She shouldn't have put it in the form of a question. Didn't she learn her lesson the first time?
The old lady said once again, no! I don't, I don't see you. I don't know you" We knew the old lady wasn't blind. Was she trying to tell her assumed granddaughter that she didn't want to see her again? We will never know what she was really thinking but by the sounds of it it's a repeat conversation.
"Yes, I will be back. I love you." She kissed the old lady on the forehead and left.

I felt sorry for the young woman and felt lucky that my grandmother still knows who I am. I may one day find myself in her shoes. I can't imagine what it's like for her if it's true that her assumed grandmother treats her like a stranger. I have always been close to my grandmother, almost like a daughter, and because she is such a big part of my world and my life I want to capture every good opportunity to have the bond that I have had with her for so many years because the day she forgets who I am will be the day our bond breaks. I know it will feel like the end of something. Even though my grandmother acts very little like her "true self" as a vivacious young grandmother she maintains her identity as long as she knows who she is and where she came from. Once that is gone and she forgets her loved ones, not by choice of course, she will no longer be the grandmother that I know and the relationship we have now will be forever changed. It will be one sided just like the young woman and her assumed grandmother.