Three Weeks Later...............More Nursing Home Drama

08-08-2012 at 12:24 PM 

I feel like I am in a hurry to write this weeks’ blog posting. I feel like too much time has passed since my last entry. I think it’s because I feel guilty.

It had been three weeks since I last saw my grandmother and trust me when I say the circumstances were unavoidable. The reasons do not matter as much as the desire to have seen her for those missing weeks do. For as long as she had been in the nursing home I had seen her at the least once a week if not more. The reason is not because I feel obligated because she is old and in a nursing home. The reason is because she is my friend and I have a relationship with her and I enjoy being in her company. I can joke around with her and tell her almost anything without being judged. It wasn’t always like that but it became that way when I was in my 30’s. I spent a lot of time with her and my grandfather when he was still alive and after my grandfather died I started to spend more time with my grandmother. I was single and had the freedom a single person had. That is when our relationship took a turn and developed deeper and into a friendship.

During my three weeks away I was worried about her health but knew she was in the best place she could be for a person in her situation. I was concerned that she wasn’t getting enough family time because I suspect not all of her children and grandchildren visit her on a regular basis. And, don’t get me wrong although I am concerned about her well-being and such it’s not all about my grandmother. It’s more about the person she has the relationship with and fulfilling their needs and doing what’s right for them. At this point my grandmother isn’t going to remember anything anyway and it’s hard to dismiss her feelings but it’s a fact that her feelings are short-term and she will forget whom she is upset with if at all upset to begin with. And, I know my grandmother and how she was raised and in her mind it is important to show a certain amount of respect to your elders. It’s something I felt I lacked from her in my youth. Why, I do not know and at this point in my life I do not care. It is what it is now and I am doing what I need to do for myself in order to fulfill my needs of not having regret at the end of the day.

I finally saw her this past Sunday afternoon and in fact was not the only one. I was happy to see my brother and nephews.

I have since learned that my grandmothers’ declining health has sped up a little and will now require “support status” from the nursing home. The way it was explained to me is that “support status” is one level above hospice. I do not even know how to prepare for the loss. It is without a doubt expected and considering her age and health status probably in her best interest but it’s the next part that will be difficult to accept. The part of losing someone who has been a regular part of your life for over 45 years, a good friend, and someone you love.

I appreciate my readers and all the support you give by reading my blog. Stay tuned!