It's Party Time..................... More nursing home drama

09-10-2012 at 03:32 PM 

Her life, as far as I am concerned, ended when they took her tv and personal belongings away. It seems that she was put in the nursing home to die. It’s because of the lack of freedom and loss of her “life” including personal furniture, television, and environment that I base this on and again is my opinion.

My grandmother loved to watch the game show network. That is what helped her get through her what may have seemed to be short but realistically long days. The furniture that was in her house on Mesa was in her studio apartment at the senior living community center where she resided for several years after my grandfather died in 2000. She also had the pleasure of knowing and looking at one of her favorite rooms in her apartment that she no longer has. Her kitchen was her pride and joy. It’s where she spent many hours especially during the holidays cooking and baking for the day and days to come. She always had a freezer stocked with goodies for whoever visited her cozy home.

Her room at the nursing home has two beds, two chairs, two nightstands and a bathroom. She has a few pictures hanging up on the walls near her bed. Although encouraged to go to the tv room to socialize and watch movies it’s not her thing. They don’t have the games show network on and play old movies over and over again. Who in the hell wants to be reminded of how old you are when living in a nursing home? Ok, it takes them back to the “good ole days”, I get it, but not being able to keep your normal routine at this age does more harm than good as far as I am concerned.

She was somewhat happy while she sat in her chair in her apartment watching game shows and feeling a simple sense of independence having the ability to store juice and snacks in her kitchen. I kept a bag of toys there so when I brought my two young children they could play at their great Bubie’s home. They had snacks with her and had the privacy that no longer exists for her and her family.

Wouldn’t it be nice if the nursing home had a cozy little living room with all the comforts of home set-aside just for family visits? It could give the elders a sense of home, dignity, and privacy. It could give them the occasion to feel like they are still taking care of their family and loved ones.

This weekend the "home" had a big backyard party with pony rides, face painting, and a balloon artist dressed like a clown. There were train rides, a petting zoo and games for the kids to play. There was a buffet of picnic food and gourmet desserts. My grandmother had a little bit of life in her when she had the choice to sit outside in the sun and enjoy the festivities or sit inside the wing of the nursing home. She came alive this day and chose to stay outside with her family and commented on how she was enjoying the sun and crisp air. There was a band playing and people dancing. My grandmother lived this day and soaked it all in. She even had a balloon made for her in the shape of a flower. When she returned home from the party she had a smile on her face.

So, every day that can be enjoyed and lived is another day enjoyed and lived. I wish this could happen every day. I wish I had the ability to have my grandmother live with me with nursing around the clock. I wish, I wish, I wish. It is what it is, this is life, and I have no power. So, the best I can offer is to be there for her when I can. Do for her what I can, and love her unconditionally. That is all any of us can do.

I will always remember this day at the nursing home backyard party.