Update ........................M ore Nursing Home Drama

01-19-2013 at 01:13 AM 

I had been warned. She was non responsive and would not open her eyes. Her blood pressure was dangerously low and her toes were blue. Isolated from general population for the last two weeks and confined to the quarters of her small space in the room in which she shared with one other person she had been deteriorating. I turned the corner through the door and saw her lying in her bed. She was still and quiet. The first thing I noticed was that she did not respond the way she always had when I first walked into her room. I never had to say a word or make any noise. She always knew when someone walked into her room. She would look up and say “Cher” with an excited tone in her voice. This day was very different. The warning I was given prepared me for what came next but with an unexpected twist.

I sat down on the burgundy recliner that sat next to the bed where my grandmother lay. I began to talk to her expecting her to wake up but there was no response. I recalled our last visit together only 10 days before. We laughed together and spoke about some of her favorite recipes. The significant sign of deterioration was something I could not comprehend. I tried to hold her hand but she would not let go of her clenched hands that held one another. I tried to talk to her again. “Hi Bub, it’s Cherie. How are you feeling?” I continued talking to her asking her to open her eyes and to acknowledge my presence and the next thing that happened made me laugh. As her hands were clenched tightly together every time she moved one hand the other would follow. She lifted both her hands as if she were trying to hand me something and said, “have some.” I realized she was trying to offer me some food in her dreams or wherever she was. Her eyes remained closed during this unanticipated development. I continued to talk to her and then she opened her eyes slightly but closed them only seconds later. I was convinced she knew I was there and that she was just very weak.

A family meeting with my mother, aunt, and the hospice team and floor nurses was taking place in another room. I joined in on the meeting for a few moments and asked the professionals how long she has been in this state and nobody knew. We had to go around the table and ask everyone since the last time they saw her in what state was she in. Ultimately we learned she had been like this for almost a week. It was suspect that the quarantine for the last 10 days may have contributed to her weakness. No familial visitors and no social life for 10 days may have caused this significant deterioration in her health. But, it may have just happened regardless because he health had been deteriorating for quite some time according to the nurses. Again, we may never know but what we do know is that we lost what may have been valuable time with her because according to the health care professionals she only has about 1-2 weeks left on earth.

Today was the first day in 10 days that she was taken out of her room and able to join the general population. I found her in the dining room slumped down in her wheelchair trying to use her arms as a makeshift pillow. A nurse suggested we seat her in a recliner in a more comfortable position during our visit. Again, like the day before eyes were closed, head was down, and she was speechless. But, when I held her hand this time she raised my hand to her mouth and kissed my hand several times. This was a good indication that she knew I was there with her. My mother and youngest son eventually came and my mother brought her favorite drink of seltzer water. Through a straw she sipped the seltzer and spoke for the first time this day. “It’s cold.” Her blood pressure had improved slightly and her toes were not blue anymore. She was comfortable and not in any pain.

I am assuming there will be no more talk of the need to “go home” and “get me out of here”. This could mean that her anxiety level has decreased and that she has accepted her fate. Needless to say I want to spend as much time with her as I possibly can and say the things that I want to say. I hope tomorrow she has more to say.


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