Bubie Update............More Nursing Home Drama

06-19-2012 at 01:08 PM 

I entered through the double doors into the Alzheimers wing and was told I would find my grandmother sitting in the t.v. room. The first thing that entered my mind was that she was being social instead of sitting in her room by herself staring at the walls. But, this was not the case. She was sitting in a chair but away from everyone else and when she saw me she acted as if she had been at sea and saw land for the first time in years, as if I was her escape, rescue, and savior. “Oh Cherie, I am so glad you are here, I want to go home”, she cried out in a tone that seemed happy and relieved that there was a light at the end of a tunnel. My heard sunk. I was limited as to what I was able to do for her. I sat down next to her and assured her that I am always there for her and that everything was going to be ok. Again, I reminded myself that short term promises and reassurances are what she needed considering her state of mind. The urgency in her voice hurt me the same way I feel when my kids are hurting but there was little I could do for her but knew whatever I did had to take place somewhere other than that wing she lived in.

I retrieved her wheel chair from her room and proceeded to take her out of the wing and into the main lobby of the facility. The lobby is a large open area with the small shops including a beauty shop, ice cream parlor, and offices. I told her we were going to go get a cup of coffee hoping she would register the idea of leaving her wing or “the home” so it would cheer her up and give her a sense of freedom. Off of the lobby there are two large dining areas where people can help themselves to coffee, juice, tea, and crackers. There I fixed my grandmother a cup of coffee with cream and gave her some crackers to snack on while I sprinted over to the ice cream parlor to grab an ice cream bar for her. I could tell she was hungry the way she ate the ice cream bar and watching her drink her coffee reminded me how sometimes a hot cup of coffee can be better than sex. They don’t serve coffee on her wing so this was a real treat for her. I would make sure she had her morning coffee everyday if I could. Seeing her change from an agitated person feeling trapped to a relaxed and almost child like state was so gratifying for me. I actually felt that I had some power against the disease that mostly dictates her mood. After a cup of coffee, an ice cream bar, a cup of juice and two packs of saltine crackers it was time to head back to the wing. But, I wasn’t going to let her leave empty handed. I grabbed a to-go cup and fixed her another cup of coffee and took a few packs of crackers to take back to the wing with her.

Once we got back to the wing I put her in the same chair I found her in, handed her the cup of coffee and said goodbye. Dinner was only minutes away and knew she would be more relaxed than when I first arrived. However, I also knew it would be forgotten seconds after I walked away from her. I had also learned that I was her third visitor of the day. It doesn’t matter how long our visits are or how many visits she receives in any given day because whatever happens to the brain when the “Old Timers” disease kicks in takes over the brain and wipes out short term memories. But, it doesn’t matter because the visits and short coffee breaks that she receives may be making a difference we are unaware of.